Apparently I can’t type tonight. Of course I’m going to blame the hardware in front of me, but it might also have something to do with a bottle of cider, and half a bottle of wine. I’m in the magical “Nanatache” mode. If you’ve never seen “Down and Out in Beverley Hills”, let me translate – “Nanatache” means “Man who lost his American Express card, and don’t give a fuck”. Except of COURSE that’s rubbish. Google Translate doesn’t say that, and we all know computers are always right, right ?
While cycling home from work over the last few days, I’ve come to the conclusion that I need to buy a helmet camera – the captured video would make me famous. I don’t think the scenes involving cars would necessarily cause high viewing figures – more the moments when I get cut up in the middle of town, and shout “YOU COMPLETE COCK” at people. Actually, I mumble the reactions, but in the Billy Liar universe of my mind, I would love to stop in the street and call out some car driver for their idiotic behaviour.
Can I just say – I was passed by a numpty on a bike in town yesterday. After passing me, he mounted the path to avoid traffic. I secretly wanted him to get caught by the police. Tonight I saw another person cycling on the path, and thought “why can’t the police throw the book at these idiots”… the guy tonight was probably worse – no helmet, no reflective clothing, and there he was, cycling at perhaps 20mph down the footpath alongside the road.
Something else happened tonight that also caused a reaction in my head – some guys riding scooters drove past as I walked our youngest home from her dance class. They were pulling wheelies. I wanted them to fall off, to make an example of them to others. I knew while thinking that the thoughts were dark, and horrible, but for those moments when they broke so many laws, I wanted them to get what was coming to them.
Maybe it’s just better if I go to bed tonight.
p.s. thanks Space-X for making me wait all day for your launch, and then delaying by 90 minutes. Guess I won’t be watching it after all now.