No, this post is not going to be about the Michael Douglas movie from the 1990s where an average guy goes on the rampage and holds up a fast food restaurant because his burger doesn’t look like the one in the picture. This post is going to be about me falling on my backside last night.
There I was, being Mr “Chorey Mc Chore Pants”, taking the rubbish out, washing up, loading the washing machine, folding clothes, and so on – running here, there, and everywhere. Everything was going so well until I threw a pizza in the oven, and made my way out to the rubbish bins, barefoot, to put the cardboard box in the recycling bin.
I should perhaps mention at this point that the front of our house has a pretty even coating of moss across the concrete surrounding it – due to being in shade all day, and water escaping the roof during the day. Every few years we clear it, but at the moment, it’s like a soft, thin carpet.
Guess what happens when it rains for 18 of the previous 24 hours, and you walk barefoot onto saturated moss ? I’m pretty sure a faerie magicked an invisible roller-skate onto my right foot. Before I knew it, I was on the floor, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened. As I went down, most thoughts went into my right knee that twisted underneath me, and slammed into the ground hard.
After getting up, and looking to see if anybody saw me make an idiot of myself, I checked to make sure I hadn’t injured myself too badly – both legs seemed to be bending in the correct direction. I gingerly made my way to the bin, dropped off the cardboard, and made my way back indoors. That’s when I noticed not only a pocket full of moss, but also a stream of blood coming from both my leg, and my foot.
Turns out I’m not invincible then.
After cleaning up, I really didn’t think too much about the injuries until this morning. I happily hobbled around the house drinking wine, eating pizza, and even cut the lawn after dinner. This morning was a different matter though.
I should have taken a photo. I had the best cartoon bruise on my left knee. Bending the knee made it stick out alarmingly – so much so that I wondered if I would be able to get to work (remember I cycle) – although I think that was more of a “can I blag a day off” thought, than a “I’m seriously injured” thought.
Let’s see if I can make it through the rest of the week without any further incidents, shall we ?