Standing Behind Mary Berry

On our way home from parents evening at our youngest’s school yesterday evening, the clock struck “can’t be bothered to cook anything” o’clock, so we stopped off at a supermarket en-route to buy ready meals.

After gathering together a selection of fine looking curries, and pasta meals, I wandered off towards the checkouts to pay. I was vaguely aware of an old woman walking in the same direction, and we dodged either way before passing each other. My other half then sidled up to me, and whispered in my ear.

“You just nearly walked into Mary Berry!”

We were all giggling quietly to ourselves while waiting in the queue, when I noticed that the person in front of us had left their food on the conveyor belt next to the checkout. Guess who’s food it was – go on – just guess.

While Mary Berry, cooking superstar off numerous BBC TV shows was busy purchasing all manner of lovely looking ingredients to no doubt cook something that would make your teeth fall out on-sight, we stood next to her, with a huge pile of ready meals. What’s more, we looked like parents do after being at work all day, and then sitting in front of school teachers for two hours – whereas Mary looked like she had just left a magazine photo shoot.

Just for the record, I thought I was going down with a cold, so bought a Vindaloo (to hopefully burn the virus out of me – there’s some sort of logic there, honest). My memories of curry from my teenage years are that vindaloo is hot enough to make you regret it afterwards (I’m being polite) – this was nothing of the sort. I’m now wondering if I’ve changed, or curry has changed.

Anyway. It turns out Mary Berry actually looks exactly like she does on TV. All the time it appears, which is exactly not like ex-chancellor of the exchequer Norman Lamont, who I once saw in airport arrivals looking like he had been sleeping rough for several days.

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