Rain

I’m sitting in the junk room at home, trying to warm up after spending the greater part of the morning in the rain, watching our middle girl take part in rugby training. The rain started as a light mist, but following a trip to the club-house to buy hot drinks had turned into a consistant downpour. I wondered if somebody upstairs had leant on the rain lever by accident. The few of us watching the kids run round marvelled at their wilful ignorance of the conditions, while we huddled under umbrellas and watched the minute hands of our watches slow to a crawl.

Apparently teenage girl rugby players are impervious to cold, rain, and mud – as evidenced by the steaming bodies that filled the club-house after time was finally called on the idiocy. Paper cups of tea and coffee were huddled around, and trays of chips eaten with mud encrusted fingers and toothy smiles.

En-route to home, we arrived in the doorway of a grocery store still bedecked in waterproofs, walking boots, and rugby kit. Security staff did a double take as we stepped in from the rain like a bad impersonation of the Magnificent Seven.

Anyway. Here I am. Home. In the warm. Warming up, slowly. Spotify is rumbling away to drown out next door’s dog, and I’m sipping a cup of “Three Ginger” tea, and nibbling on a “berry delight” bar, bought at great expense for our gluten-free daughters who turned their noses up at them. I inherit a lot of things that way.

This is the bit where I apologise for being on a bit of a downer recently. Not really a downer as such – just disconnected from everybody and everything. I think sometimes I just need to re-charge my batteries – to not have to put a cheerful face on – to just “be”. There wasn’t anything particularly wrong as such – I just needed a break from everybody and everything. Of course some people noticed – I have wonderful friends in that way, and wouldn’t change them for the world. I’m fine – no, really. I’m fine. I just need some time to myself. Time to sit quietly, read a book, sip tea, and not have to deal with anything.

I suppose the odd thing is that I know what ran my batteries down – Tumblr. As against any of the other social blogging platforms, Tumblr tends to encourage people to empty their head – to share more than they might anywhere else. And then I come along, and read the various stories of woe, plight, loss, or hurt, and I forget to switch off the empathetic part of my stupid brain – and end up worrying about every story I read, even though I know I’m half a world away, and no more than a name on a screen to many.

So yeah. I’m wondering if the solution to this whole “batteries low” situation is to keep the internet at arms length for a little while – to give myself a chance to recharge – to get some perspective back – to stop reacting to every notification, and every email.

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