The rest of the household have gone to bed, and I find myself alone for a little while. Alone in the dark with my thoughts. A little while to untangle and unload.
The world has been somewhat relentless recently. I can’t think of a better or worse word. Better or worse. It’s a strange concept, but also fitting. It feels like we are all balancing precariously at the moment – between something, and something else. Of course without knowing what something and something else is, you start to doubt the continued effort.
It’s the old conversation about “keeping going”, isn’t it – resisting the temptation to fall- the temptation to allow yourself to fall.
I seem to be full of abstraction and reflection tonight – and not at all tired, which is surprising, given a day perched in front of a monitor, wrestling with imponderable complexity.
Sometimes the only way past is through – and sometimes the journey is slow – an inch forwards, a step back, another half a step forwards, and so on. There are phrases for that too – “small moves”, “little by little”…
We wrap our lives in so many phrases. I wonder if they are no more than protective blankets, woven from received wisdom.