We look forward to the weekend throughout the week, and then when it comes we suddenly find ourselves deep into Sunday evening, wondering what happened – or at least I do.
I thought I would be at home with our eldest today – perhaps a walk to the park in town together. That’s not quite how the day turned out. Instead I stood on the touchline of a rugby pitch for a couple of hours this morning, and then walked across town to meet my middle daughter from a hockey match this afternoon. It’s now heading towards dinner, and the oven is already on – in preparation for pizzas bought from the supermarket on Friday night, because we knew the weekend might vanish from beneath our feet.
It’s strange really – while some people have hated the more strict lockdown conditions (which look like they might be returning in this part of the world), I kind of liked it. I think I’ve written about “the nature of me” before – about my difficulties in dealing with people – with the world. I tend to act – to play a part. I’m not naturally confident, or outgoing – but am somehow able to pull on a suit of pretend personality clothes that cause others to presume the opposite. I’ve become far too good at it – too convincing.
So what am I up to right now ?
I’m sitting in the quiet of the junk room – the same place I work during the day – listening to Wilson Phillips on the CD player. I can still remember Wilson Phillips first albums coming out back in the early 1990s. I’ve been listening to a lot of retro music recently. I’m not really sure why.
My middle daughter has been trying to arm-twist me into taking part in an online escapade later this evening – a virtual aeroplane flight across Scotland in the company of a number of friends. After that I’m contemplating a four hour Westworld marathon – to get through the end of Season 3. I love that they have re-invented the show during the third season – really delving into the problems that might arise if computers become sentient.
Anyway. Pizzas to cook. Coffee to drink. Music to listen to.
p.s. I deleted my accounts at the various chess playing websites. It was becoming a distraction from anything and everything. A stress I can do without.