This year I’m taking part in “Bloganuary” – a series of writing prompts published throughout the month by Mindy Postoff. Today’s writing prompt is “What do people incorrectly assume about you ?”.
I think perhaps the most common misconception people have about me is that I am somehow popular, outgoing or the life and soul of some imaginary party they have constructed in their head. They couldn’t be further from the truth.
I’ve always been quiet, introverted, and somewhat shy. Over the years I have either begun to care less what other people think, or found strategies for coping with group situations. Typically at gatherings I’ll be the person talking to those that have become excluded from the various conversations around the room. I’m never the funny/smart/loud/exciting person in the middle of the room.
I remember going to a charity fund-raising dinner several years ago with some friends and sitting next to a somewhat extrovert school teacher – the life and soul of the party that particular evening. She turned to me (after several drinks) and said “you’re really funny! I had no idea!”.
A girl I used to work with once told me that when I’m happy I “shine” – but that when I’m concerned about anything, I disappear in plain sight. She wasn’t wrong. I guess half the problem is worrying not only about myself, but about others too. I’ve always done it.
So anyway. There’s my incorrect assumption. I’m not popular, not outgoing, and will rarely be found in the company of the noisy people at a gathering. I could write at length and do a full armchair psychiatric evaluation of myself – but it would serve no purpose for anybody but a really bored reader that happens upon this post.
I nearly forgot. If you’re a fellow introvert, and you want a great strategy for dealing with chatty people – ask them about themselves. They will invariably furnish you with their life story at a moment’s notice, and you get to avoid making conversation for several minutes. It’s very easy.
jonbeckett.blog 
7 replies on “Incorrect Assumptions”
Total introvert here, so I will be sure to utilize your suggestion!
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Fellow introvert here, I am drained after a reception or a party. My strategy is to first go to someone I know, then circle the room, and spot who else is uncomfortable, and then i ask if I can sit with them.
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(holds hand up – me too)
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Thank you for understanding, many think it is just being shy. But it is much more.
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I think I am an extroverted introvert. I enjoy being around people, I am fine in crowds, I like finding people to talk to. But I get overwhelmed and need down time, quiet time, to recharge. I also will never be the ‘life of the party’, and if I don’t know ANYONE, will probably just sit and not talk to people, which is boring and then I want to go home. Your tip for talking to chatty people is spot on. My husband is chatty, and is very happy to talk about himself for quite awhile. He’s a good listener as well, but one does have to speak up. My daughter is more of an introvert than I am. Most often she would rather just stay home.
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You come across chummy and engaged–which could be why people misunderstand you. You’ve got some great people skills–folks often forget that introverts enjoy people as much as extroverts do, they just need time alone to regroup and renew their energy. And you’re correct–asking people about themselves gives them a green flag to go and gives you a bit of a respite!
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“I nearly forgot. If you’re a fellow introvert, and you want a great strategy for dealing with chatty people – ask them about themselves. They will invariably furnish you with their life story at a moment’s notice, and you get to avoid making conversation for several minutes. It’s very easy.”
That’s great advice. I’m not shy, not even close, but I absolutely suck at 1:1 conversations with people I don’t know. I know it won’t work for everyone but at least I can use it with the chatty ones. 😉
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