It begins with hello

I need to stop burning the candle at both ends. I think perhaps the key might be learning to say “no” more often. I find it really difficult though – saying no.

I’m usually the idiot washing up at midnight, so I don’t have to face a sink full of stuff in the morning. I’m usually the idiot wandering around picking up after the kids because it’s quicker to just do it rather than get into a huge argument about getting them to do it. I’m the idiot that contemplated working late tonight because a client landed an email on me ten minutes after I should already have finished for the day.

I do my best – but it never really seems to get me very far.

Of course I tell myself that it’s not about getting anywhere – it’s about being happy in yourself, and making it to tomorrow in one piece. Except we all have falling down moments, don’t we. Granted, nobody might have a clue when we’re struggling, because we’re all experts at keeping a lid on it all (well… most of us are), but you get the idea.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to be able to tell the whole truth sometimes. To tell those around us why they frustrate us, why they make us angry, why we admire them, or that we have held a quiet candle for them for quite some time.

We don’t do that though, do we. Or at least I don’t.

I worry about doing or saying anything that might have any effect on anybody else. So I do nothing, and say very little. I sometimes wonder if those close to me suspect my thoughts from time to time. Perhaps it’s more of a hope.

Over time, I suppose we learn to read each other. We know at “hello” if something is wrong.

The most intriguing thing – to me at least – is the moment when you’re thinking of a friend – wondering how they are – and they message you moments later. I’ve had it happen a lot recently. The universe obviously thinks it’s tremendously funny to pull my strings – to see me smile in the dead of night when a simple message arrives.

A message beginning with “Hello”.

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