The clock ticked past midnight over an hour ago. I’m sitting in the dark of the junk room on my own – the rest of the house fell into silence some time ago after everybody else went to bed.
I busied myself for a time with picking up after the rest of the family – putting things away, filling the dishwasher, the usual chores.
Life feels so much like a treadmill at the moment – like a continual procession of doing the right thing for the right people at the right time. It all feels like such a performance.
What is it we tell ourselves to wallpaper over it all? Tomorrow is another day? Something like that? Every day is another day though, isn’t it – another day filled with much the same.
We repeat trite phrases to ourselves about becoming the change we wish to see, or living in the moment. Those sentiments always seem to ignore the silent majority that have to deal with the carnage and chaos caused by those that make decisions and plans.
It would be wonderful though, wouldn’t it – to ignore all the pre-conditions and chase a dream – no matter how small. Just for a few moments.
Perhaps the smallest of decisions are sometimes portents. Small favors. Kindnesses. Reaching out to a friend to ask about their day. Stopping to listen. Giving time.
Perhaps the universe knows. Perhaps we do too – if we’re honest with ourselves. Perhaps we need to drop the daily act from time to time and ask ourselves what we’re really doing – what we’re really saying.