Living with Psychotic Maniacs

This photo (and the events of this morning, which I will get to later) are all the proof anybody should ever need that cats are not nice, cuddly, friendly creatures. Oh no. They are psychotic, violent maniacs.

There we were, enjoying a quiet Sunday morning, and there I was, playing with the camera app on my phone. I was about to take a photo of one of our cats, who appeared to be peacefully sleeping atop the sofa, when something switched his brain from “snuggly warm lap type thing” into “psychotic maniac”.

Another cat had walked past the patio doors. In his garden.

If thoughts could be projected into words, I have no doubt at all that the incredulous stare said “Who the fck does that cat think it is walking across my fcking garden like it owns the f*cking place?”. He didn’t get up of coursehe sat there, seething silently.

Fast forward to this morning, and we had run out of cat food. The three catsidentical brotherssat in the kitchen waiting for me as I made my way to the shower. While waiting for my arrival in the kitchen they sat quietly, perhaps a foot away from each other. Given the unfolding “no food” situation, you could feel the tension ratchet up.

The close proximity of three hungry psychotic maniacs quickly unravelled the happy scene. For no reason at all, one of the cats took a swipe at anotherwhich prompted a full on rugby tackle in response. Not to be outdone, the leftover cat quietly stood up, approached his wrestling brothers, and bit one of them on the ass.

So nocats are not friendly. It’s all an act.