Burning the Candle at Both Ends

I’m sitting in the dark of the study, surrounded by half-filled boxes of material, sewing, knitting, and the various bits and bobs associated with those activities. My other half is up to her ears in half-sewn costumes for an impending dance show in town. She gets arm twisted each year by the local dance teacher to make various dresses, shirts, cloaks, and whatever else for a small army of children to wear for their one night of fame. Fame in our little town, anyway.

I’m tired. Properly tired. It turns out working all day, then coming home and working all evening gets to you after a few days. As soon as I’ve written this I’ll switch the computer off, clear the kitchen, then go to bed.

I haven’t done anything this evening, other than spend half an hour on the phone with my Dad (who somehow managed to lock himself out of his own computer). Technical support is somewhat challenging when you don’t trust the story you’re being told, and you can’t see the computer in question. After dinner I sat with our eldest and watched another episode of Game of Thrones - she’s just finished Season 7 after a marathon trek over the last several weeks. It’s been mightily confusing - watching previous seasons with her and then watching the new episodes as they land.

Anyway.

Enough about work, and chores, and being tired, and all the other things. It’s the weekend! Time to relax, kick back, and do as little as possible. Except of course I won’t be doing that. I’ve promised to at least try and progress some work things over the weekend - and seeing as we are out all of Sunday with the rugby club, that leaves tomorrow.

If you made it this far through this post, I’m surprised. I’ve had nothing really to write about all week - other than software development challenges, and the feeling that I’ve had enough of everything. It’s funny - the whole “negative thoughts” thing - while cycling home this evening I was listening to WTF - Marc Maron’s podcast. He talked about having no children, and life on his own - the strange sort of mania that being on your own can cause. I found myself wondering what life would have been like had I not met my other half - not got married - not had the children.

Then I started wondering how different people’s outlook is - between those that have no children, and those that live in a world of family chaos. Does each group look down on the other group? Do they judge each other? I try not to judge anybody, but will admit to silently seething when single people say or do thoughtless things - but then you realise they don’t know any better, because they don’t spend all day putting their children’s needs ahead of their own.

I’ve lost count of the number of times I have gone to work with a packed lunch made of questionable rubbish - the crusts from the end of loaves, the cheese that nobody else would touch, or the leftovers of some meal or other from earlier in the week. Of course I made sure the children went to school with apples, oranges, perfectly made rolls, crisps, snack bars - you name it - I didn’t have it.

I’ve already written “anyway”. This post kind of got away from me. I used to write these introspective brain dumps all the time - now I only seem to do it while standing at some kind of tiredness induced precipice.

Don’t listen to me. It’s the weekend. Go have fun.