The serendipity of it all

After setting aside lunchtime to write a blog post, I’ve spent the last half an hour doing anything and everything except write a blog post. This is pretty typical behaviour. I’m amazed the distraction only went on for half an hour to be honest – in recent months my hands haven’t filled the keyboard with thoughts much before 1am.

Urgh. Where to start?

Life just seems to be such a trudge at the moment. Each day starts with vague thoughts of “what crap’s going to happen today?”. I’ve started writing down even the most mundane tasks in my old bullet journal as part of the “working day” – purely because ticking something off feels like I’ve achieved something. Achieved anything, really.

I’ve stepped sideways from much of the “social internet” in recent months. I still look in now and again – but quickly grow tired of the typically toxic advertorial highlight reel that many post. Yes, I get it – you like eating out – do you really think that’s what people want to know about though? Or is it just me that finds a continual torrent of “look where we are”, “look what we bought”, or “look how fantastic our perfect life is” gets really, really tiring.

I often remind myself that the internet is not everybody. I’m also fully aware of my paradoxical relationship with it – given I am posting these forgettable thoughts into the torrents of idiocy.

It comes back to the Norah Ephron quote, doesn’t it – this blogging escapade – that a blog post doesn’t have to say anything. Hello. I’m here. And by the way. On the other hand. Never the less. Did you see?

She called blogging an exhale. I’ve always liked that thought. An exhale that somebody, somewhere might take notice of. Before they know it they’re reading your most recent few posts, reaching out, and a friendship happens. Then months on you know more about each other than most friends or family – and yet you’ve never met.

I think perhaps that’s what I like most about the internet – about blogging – is the serendipity of it all. You never know when you fire up the computer what words you might share, what words you might read, who you might cross paths with, or how important they might become in your life.


Tuning Out

I opened the word processor at 8:35 this morning, with every intention of writing a blog post before work started. One thing after another cropped up throughout the day to make sure no writing of any sort happened. Before I knew it, I was up to my ears in source code, meetings, and an endless stream of email.

I really need to take a step back. To slow down.

A good friend messaged me yesterday – that had not heard anything from me for some months – asking if we were still good – if they had done something wrong. I felt awful. While I’m busy tinkering with this and that, I often become consumed with whatever I’m doing, and submerge myself into it – often at the exclusion of anything and everything else. You must have noticed the blog posts becoming less frequent, right? Same reason.

Like I said – I need to take a step back. I need to reach out to those I know, and those I care about – and reassure them that they’re not forgotten – that we’re good – that I just got… distracted. For months.

An old work colleague emailed me yesterday, and sent some scanned photos of a party that happened many years ago – of myself and the girl I used to share an office with. I had forgotten how striking she was. It’s funny – when you know somebody well, you stop seeing them as others do – you see straight past how pretty they might be, and see the person that makes you smile – the person that’s shared worries with you – that you’ve partnered with on so many escapades.

There is a point to this interlude, honest.

The girl in the photos used to roll her eyes at my submergent behaviour (is that a real word?) – and often commented that I disappeared in plain sight when something interested me. I could shut off everybody in a noisy room and focus on whatever I was doing – it drove some people nuts. I always likened it to having music on in the background – when you’re concentrating you just kind of tune it out. I tune the world out.


Perhaps I need to start tuning the world back in from time to time.